4 Healthy Boundaries for Being Online (That Help You Scale)
“I don’t want to contribute to the noise”
I saw a phrase come up in conversations more than once this month: “the noise”
Two of my clients said it almost word for word the same: “I don’t want to contribute to the noise” when I asked them about what was stopping them from the next edge of being visible in their business.
When they said “the noise”, they were referring to the nonsense–the constant bombardment of chatter and (useless? harmful?) information we can experience online these days.
“The noise” happens online but it feels like it’s happening in our homes when we’re on the couch or in our beds when we’re huddling under the covers because it comes from our phones.
We experience noise on social media, we’re inundated with it when checking for the news. Noise puts a spell on us when we just want to know the weather for today or play a freakin’ oldies song.
It feels like “the noise” has taken up space in our minds. And it often doesn’t feel genuinely helpful, or smart, or truly connective.
A third client said it again today as I was editing this blog post: “there is so much crap out there!”
The noise is why I keep my phone on silent, eliminate all notifications, and it’s why I refuse to keep Instagram or Facebook on my phone. NO. You’re not getting in!!!
So I get it. Who would want to be a part of the noise? Not me. I’m not putting my meaningful life’s work–which is a part of my soul and my reason for being on earth–anywhere near that cauldron of stinky, bottom-of-the-barrel C-R-A-P.
And yet, in the same breath which I can see feels a little too proud to say all this, I can hear my inner victim complaining on her sad violin that the world isn’t good enough for her to come out and play with today…
“Humanitarians often flinch at marketing. They think it’s slimy or sleazy. – Marie Forleo
1-800-273-8255
I read Bobby Hall aka Logic’s memoir this month, too - This Bright Future. You might know Logic from his song titled 1-800-273-8255 which is the phone number for the American National Suicide Hotline.
If you haven’t seen Logic’s performance of 1-800 at the MTV VMA’s it’s a must watch. Suicide survivors and family members of those lost to suicide line the stage with Logic in white t-shirts at the end and it’s raw and beautiful. He even fought to get 30 seconds post-performance to make a public statement and it’s 🤯
In his memoir, Bobby recounts the tragedies of his early years and shares how the magic of the internet changed his hard, hard life forever.
When Myspace and other new social media platforms emerged for artists, Bobby got online early and was just himself – a nerdy, mixed-race teenager rapping about things that were important to him. People found him and fell in love with how he was different and real, and they shared his genius in ways the world had never seen before.
His impact on the lives of regular human beings and the conversations he’s opened up about hard parts of life is immense. An NPR article showed that his song 1-800 changed people’s choice to die by suicide and resulted in as many as 245 fewer deaths in the group studied the year it came out.
What kind of noise is valuable to you?
And so maybe you can imagine what I took away from Bobby’s memoir. His noise contributed to as many as 245 lives living longer and 2,450 loved ones not grieving an unnecessary death.
It’s time to shift out of the victim mentality around being online and sharing your (and my) life’s work.
Humanitarians, do-gooders, and like-hearted entrepreneurs – now’s the time to grow up and wield the magical inventions that connect us to places around the world where our medicine is needed most.
My 4 Healthy Boundaries for Being Online (That Help You Scale)
Use them to take authorship of your online presence in a bigger way this year.
1) Use a burner phone to your advantage
Purchase a cheap smartphone (with no data contract) just for your social media usage. This keeps your business and personal life separate and healthy.
Bonus - notifications only show up on your burner phone!
2) Treat social like fun work
Find a cute coffee shop to frequent or a shady patio outside when you engage on social media for work. Take your burner phone and set aside as little as 15-minutes to comment, like, and DM potential customer’s personal content on social media.
Your intentionality and focus helps A LOT here, and it matters that you feel good when engaging so make it fun for YOU.
3) Discover your platform, release the rest
I hear you, there IS a lot of crap out there. But honestly, so what? That’s all the more reason to shine and share your message.
Bring playfulness, experimentation, and curiosity to getting started and commit to posting once a day for one week. You’ll identify roadblocks, what flows, and what else you need to learn. Then, let go of everything else (and the mental anguish that you use to stop from going forward).
4) TURN IT ALL OFF
Turn all your devices off for at least 1-hour each week. This will help you fully recharge your own energy and amplify your ability to hear your intuition.
If you have kids or other obligations, prepare them and others for the fact that you will be unreachable. Then go for a hike, take a bath, or cook a meal and use the pretty dishes. The point is to feel good about yourself and feel good in your space — so you have energy to give to others.
I turn my phone off every night around 8p and it’s a lifesaver so I can be fully focused online during the day.
What do you think? How do you feel after reading this?
Have you tried any of these or do you have other boundaries that have worked for you? I’m always looking for ways to be more “out there” and protect my personal energy at the same time and I’d love to learn from you.
